idk why wearing someone else’s shirt or sweater or jacket is so satisfying and comforting but it is
but not as satisfying as seeing someone else wearing your jacket or sweatshirt. like. wow. they’re wearing my sweatshirt. and it’s cute as fuck.
the bond between the person wearing someone else’s clothes and the person whose clothes they are wearing is strong
so today i was volunteering in a bank and i saw this man and woman arrive at the atm at the same time and they both went “you go first” “no you go first” “no you were here first i insist” “let’s arm wrestle for it” so they did and she won and he got her number and now they have a date for tomorrow night
totalitarian dystopian future lit is like “what if the government got so powerful that all the bad stuff that’s already happening ALSO HAPPENED TO WHITE PEOPLE?”
So I dyed my cats pink with leftover beet water. No regrets! <3 :D
"I’ve never dated a lesbian but I’ve always wanted to"
You’re a man
Why?????would?????a lesbian?????ever wanna date you????
Do you even know what a lesbian is???
What kind of response to “sorry I’m not interested, I’m a lesbian” is this????
My cousin once got angry and insulted when I told him a lesbian couple wouldn’t want a threesome with him.
I THREW A KID IN THE WELL
DONT ASK ME ILL NEVER TELL
I WILL REGRET THIS IN HELL
BUT HE WAS IN MY WAY
i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them
Life tip: bring a book with you everywhere you go
Life pro tip: bring two, in case you finish the first one.
Bigger life pro tip: Bring a kobo/kindle with you everywhere so you have an entire library with you at all times.
Ultimate life pro tip: live in a library and never ever leave.
Supreme life tip: Become a library
Am I doing this right